Self-Love

    Self-Love is the first topic I would like to tackle during this month of love. To get more information about what we are dedicating this month to, check out my last blog post titled “What’s Love Got To Do With It?”. To be honest I am struggling with this topic because self-love looks different for me in this season. Pregnancy and postpartum are two things that have challenged the love I had for myself. 


  • The unrealistic expectation to “snap back” weighed on me heavily

  • Recalibrating my hormones and emotions after giving birth 

  • Being the “perfect” mom to Aveyah 

  • Maintaining a relationship 


    Focusing on those things and a host of other things caused me to lose sight of what made me, me. Self-love is a battle that I fight everyday. The trials and tribulations that I’ve gone through have strengthened me and made me cherish life more. My personal hardships have caused me to have grace, vulnerability, and honesty. These qualities have caused many people to take advantage of me. To be honest I still haven’t come up with a plan to avoid being used but I have increased my self-awareness which helps me to identify these situations sooner.

    My self-love goes through phases, sometimes I am at 100 percent and other times it is -100. Waking up and choosing to love myself and make decisions that will prompt self-love is hard but necessary. In my opinion what you eat, what you listen to, who you hang around, who you date, and what you wear shows you how much you truly love yourself. Now the list goes on but those are just a few of the things that I use to measure my self-love. These things in my life have highlighted that my self-love is low, so I have been doing small things to readjust the love I have for myself: 

  • Spending time with God

  • Church 

  • Listening to uplifting music 

  • Journaling 

  • Self-care days 

  • Exercising 

  • Reading a book 

  • Doing hair

  • Talking to friends 

     

    The list above helps me to regain balance whenever I am feeling off about myself. Grace, vulnerability and honesty are easy for me to provide for others but when it comes to myself I am so harsh. My goal lately has been to give myself the things that I give to others. I am speaking to myself calmly, I am extending grace to myself when I make mistakes, and I am tapping into my self-awareness. The following writing prompts is what I used to create the balance my inner self was fighting to receive: 


Writing Prompts: 

  • Have I been spending enough time with God?

  • What would I like more or less in my life? 

  • Do I need to ask for help?

  • What does my mind/body/spirit need?  

  • Does this person represent my future? 

  • What can I do today to relieve stress for tomorrow? 

  • Does this person/place or thing love me how I love me? 

  • Am I being replenished as much as the person/place or thing is taking?  



Affirmations: 


  • You are your best thing! 

  • It is absolutely okay to quit.

  • NO. Is a complete sentence. 

  • It's never too late to start over. 

  • You cannot force people to love you.

  • Cut off people who are unwilling to love you in your love language.

  • When you are pouring into someone else's cup, make sure the cup isn’t broken.

  • Get away from small minded individuals. They will never be able to see what you see. 

 






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