Poop, Pottery and Personal Growth: Finding Myself in the Chaos

 Life as a Mom: When the Sh*t Literally Hits the Fan

Let me be real with you—sometimes life can feel like a full-on, no-holds-barred sh*t show. Literally and figuratively. Case in point: tonight, both of my girls decided to poop in the tub at the same time. Oh, the joys of motherhood! There I was, scrubbing the tub in disbelief, while two naked toddlers ran around laughing like it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen. And you know what? I had to laugh, too—because in that messy, chaotic moment, I found myself having a revelation.

It hit me: life, like this moment, is messy. Unpredictable. And totally out of my control. And sometimes, the only way to survive it is to stop caring so much. I found myself reflecting on three very real truths:

  1. What someone else eats doesn’t make me poop (💩)—you do you, and I’ll do me.
  2. Just like you can’t control when poop happens, you can’t control life either.
  3. Sometimes, the only way to get through it all is to stop giving a (💩).

Now, I’m sorry for the language, but I’m at a point where I can’t sugarcoat things anymore. I’ve spent too much time trying to be the "best version" of myself—showing up with a peaceful, considerate spirit, being mindful of everyone’s feelings, and trying to create harmony in spaces where I’m not always valued. And what has that gotten me? Tired. Frustrated. Worn out. Sometimes, I even regret putting in the work to better myself because it seems like the people who aren’t doing the work are getting off easy.

When Directness Becomes a Problem

Let me tell you what’s been really grinding my gears lately: I’m a direct person. When there’s conflict, I like to ask straightforward questions, get to the root of the issue, and move on to a solution. But apparently, that’s not how people like to operate. Instead of meeting me with that same energy, I get backlash—people twist my words into personal attacks, focusing on my insecurities and flaws. And more often than not, it feels like it’s not what I’m saying, but the fact that I said it.

I’ve realized that many people don’t value my opinion, my experiences, or my perspective, and that’s fine. I’m not offended by that. What frustrates me is when those same people ask for my opinion and then get upset when I don’t agree with them. Cue the passive-aggressive comments, dramatic reactions, and, of course, the infamous “constructive criticism” that’s really just thinly veiled negativity.

How I’m Dealing With It? I’m Letting It Be.

So how am I handling all this, you ask? Honestly, I’m not—at least not in the way I used to. I’ve been trying to let things be what they are, and I truly believe that God is pruning me in this season. I’m learning that certain people, places, and things are no longer meant for me, and that’s okay. I believe God is cutting off the parts of my life that were holding me back, forcing me to let go of people-pleasing, anxiety, and the cloud of depression I’ve carried for so long.

Just like the seasons have to change to keep the world alive, I think this spiritual season is necessary for me to reach my full potential. And while it’s uncomfortable at times, I’m learning to appreciate the process, because God has always carried me through.

The Potter and the Clay

There’s a Bible verse that compares God to a Potter, and lately, that metaphor has been speaking to me. You know how pottery works, right? The process is messy and tedious, but the end result is always something beautiful. Here’s how it goes:

  • You have to cut the clay from the bigger slab.
  • You have to score (a fancy was to say "scratch it up") to connect the pieces.
  • Then you shape it into something meaningful.
  • Paint it.
  • Put it in the fire to refine it.
  • And finally, you let it cool before it’s ready to be displayed.

Most of that process happens behind the scenes, in a messy, dirty studio. The masterpiece doesn’t emerge until the very end, but the Potter knows what He’s doing the whole time. That’s how I feel right now—like I’m still in the messy stages, but God is shaping me, refining me, and preparing me for what’s next. And while it’s not always pretty, I know I’m being set apart for something greater.

So, if you ever find yourself in a place where life feels like it has no value, remember: God is the Potter, and you’re in the palm of His hands. He’s molding, shaping, and setting you apart for something special. Trust that process.

Cheers to Becoming Whole

With that said, I’m done auditioning for spots in people’s lives. I’m done shrinking myself to fit into boxes I never asked to be put in. I’m tired of connections that make me second-guess my worth. I’ve had enough of my thoughts and opinions rubbing people the wrong way just because they aren’t used to someone with their own mind.

What I’m praying for is strength—the strength to protect my space, set boundaries, and create an environment that’s safe, warm, and welcoming for everyone who truly values me. I’m choosing to embrace all of who I am, without watering myself down to make others comfortable.

So here’s to becoming whole, healthy, and beautiful—just like a piece of finely crafted pottery. I may still be in the studio phase, but the masterpiece is coming.




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