“Let That Ship Sink - Learning how to let go on one-sided relationships.”

I came across a post on Instagram the other day that hit me right in the gut. It said, "Stop being the one who always makes the effort. Relax and let the ship sink." Honestly, I've never felt more seen in my life. If you know me, you know I take relationships and connections seriously like, Olympic-level commitment. But here's the hard truth I’ve had to accept: not everyone shares that mindset.

For the longest time, I’ve been the planner, the one sending the texts, organizing hangouts, making sure the ship stays afloat. But I realized something—if I stopped doing all that, the connection would just… sink. Gone. Silence. It’s like I was holding the whole thing together with duct tape and prayer.

Now, I get why my parents were so strict about who I called a “friend” or who I got into relationships with. They’d always say, "One wrong decision and your life could change forever." I used to think they were being dramatic, but now that I’m juggling adulthood and motherhood, I see they were spot on. They told me they could only give me the wisdom, but it was up to me to decide how to use it. And let’s just say, adulthood has handed me a heaping plate of hard lessons.

Over the last few years, I tried to shake things up, live a little, maybe bend my standards just a tad. I wanted to see what all the “fun” was about, you know? For years, I had high standards—nobody could just walk into my life without proving they belonged there. But life has a funny way of throwing distractions at you. You’re out here trying to live your best life, and suddenly you’re surrounded by people and places that aren’t aligned with your goals, standards, or morals. These folks aren’t bad people; they’re just not *your* people.

So, I stopped. I stopped over-functioning and let the chips fall where they may. And you know what? A lot of people were just hanging around for the ride, expecting the benefits without doing any of the work. They wanted the fruit without watering the tree. And I’ve learned—people know exactly what they’re doing. And if they don’t, at this age, that’s an even bigger problem. We’re 30 + 1 now. Get it together!

The other day, I was watching a movie with my daughter called *Migration*. In it, the father was consumed by fear and anxiety, while the mother and kids were itching for adventure. They wanted to leave their safe little pond and journey all the way to Jamaica. The father finally agreed, but not before getting advice from his uncle, who was all about staying put. The uncle was like, “Stay in the pond. We’ve got everything we need here.” But the uncle? Single, no kids, no wife, out of shape, and stuck in the same old life.

That hit home. Sometimes, we have to break away from our families' comfort zones to get to the life God has for us. It reminds me of Lot and Abraham—two great men, but their journeys couldn’t coexist on the same land. They had to part ways to grow.

So, if you’re holding on to something good, but it’s keeping you from God’s great, let it go. Let the ship sink if it’s not meant to float. Make room for what’s truly meant for you.