Healing Anyway: God's Love and My Journey Back to Me

This week, I found myself in a bit of an awkward situation. Someone wasn’t too happy with my recent post about healing—specifically, my healing from them. Now, before I dive in, let me just say: I am fully aware that I’m not perfect. I’ve had my moments—whether it was acting out of trauma, anger, postpartum rage, or simply exhaustion. But what this person pointed out was that my posts, videos, and writings were apparently making people question their character. 

Let’s pause here for a sec. I intentionally left out a LOT of details to avoid ruffling feathers. I wasn’t trying to start a drama series. But if I’m being real, this person would be offended if I breathed wrong. 😂 So, here I am, stuck in a weird place where I don’t want to hurt anyone while healing myself. It got me thinking: “How can you heal without stepping on toes?”

Spoiler alert: You heal anyway. 🦋

The truth is, healing will always affect those who are in denial about their own mess. It shakes up the ones who don’t see an issue with their actions or those who are too scared to look inward. And sometimes, it disrupts the people who benefit from you staying unhealed. So yeah, I’ve come to this conclusion: HEAL ANYWAY.

Now, I’ll admit, some of my posts were pretty direct and specific to my experience. But trust me, I didn’t spill all the tea. Why? Well, for starters, I left that situation still very much in love. Also, I'm a little embarrassed by the things I tolerated for the sake of “love.” And lastly, I do care about their feelings and personal growth (even though it’s not my job to fix them anymore).

So, back to the question: “How do you heal without offending others?” Honestly, healing is going to make some folks uncomfortable. If you’ve been a people pleaser, overcompensator, or someone with no boundaries (🙋🏽‍♀️ hi, it’s me!), the people who benefited from those traits are going to need time to adjust. They’ll either have to start doing for themselves or find someone else to fill those gaps, which might cause a bit of resentment. 

Let’s face it, when you first entered that relationship, friendship, or job, they liked the version of you that said “yes” too often, over-delivered, and never stood up for yourself. But now? You’ve leveled up. You’ve got boundaries. You’ve discovered the magic of saying “no”... or even better, “Hell no!” 😂 And that shift can feel like a betrayal to them. Wild, right? It’s like they’re losing the version of you they once relied on, and in a way, they feel betrayed too.

But I’m not here for revenge or finger-pointing. I’ve found something way better. It's called the love of Christ, and it’s free with no strings attached!

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m still grieving the end of this relationship. It’s hard to let go when you still care deeply. But I serve a God who is mindful, thoughtful, and just so what do you call it, DEMURE. And because of that, I’m healing differently. I’m wrapping myself in God’s love, laying my heartaches at His feet, and walking in my truth. His word says, “the truth will set you free,” and let me tell you, I’ve never felt more free.

I’m no longer pointing fingers. I’m not waiting for them to acknowledge my pain or for an apology that might never come. Instead, I’m letting God’s kindness heal the places others refused to repair. He is my source of happiness, not another person, not substances, or anything else. I’ve got God, a supportive community, and my Bible. 

Ending a relationship with someone you still love? Yeah, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But I’ve learned that I can’t play God in someone else’s life. So, I’m giving it all to Him, trusting that He knows exactly what to do with it. 

In the end, I’m healing, and I’m doing it unapologetically. 💖