Xavia The Know It All

 Hey y’all, it’s your girl, Xavia, and let me tell you, I’m in recovery—recovery from over-functioning. Now, before you get it twisted, this doesn’t mean I’m about to start showing up in bare minimum fashion or using this as an excuse to get back at folks who have taken advantage of me. Nope! What it really means is I’m learning to tune into my mind, body, and soul before I make plans or agree to favors. In church terms, they’d call this “discernment.” (And if you’re unfamiliar with that word,  click here for Google to do the heavy lifting.) Here’s the thing—my whole life, I’ve been functioning like my worth is tied to how I show up for others. And let me tell you, that’s a fast track to burnout. I started to realize just how exhausting and unrealistic that mindset was while I was pregnant with my first daughter. Now, I had no clue what motherhood had in store for me. All I knew were the strong women around me, handling everything. My mom, for instance, was always on it, despite havi

  So I’m a Mom, Y’all! Yes, you read that right— me , a mom! It still blows my mind that I carried and birthed not one, but TWO of the sweetest additions to this world. Becoming a mom wasn’t exactly in my 5-year plan, but let me tell you, these little ladies couldn’t have come at a better time. They really shook up the timeline, but in the best way possible. Now, will I say that every day is butterflies and rainbows? Absolutely not! Some days feel more like a juggling act where all the balls are on fire. There are moments when I’m playing peek-a-boo through tears of exhaustion or giving cuddles while secretly battling anxiety. But no matter what I’m feeling, I show up. And I’m honest with my girls—I talk to them about my emotions and moods because, believe me, Mommy’s got feelings too! Just the other day, I saw a picture posted by my oldest daughter’s daycare. She was helping her best friend put her shoes on. Cue the proud mom tears! That moment hit me because earlier that very mornin

Was It Real?  That’s the million-dollar question I keep asking myself these days. How can someone switch up on you so fast? Or was I just out here, dodging red flags like I was in line at Six Flags? (Because you know, thrill rides, right?) But seriously, the resentment, bitterness, and jealousy that started bubbling up inside me? Not cute. It was an emotional cocktail I didn’t order, and it was definitely  messing up the vibe for any kind of real, honest, and vulnerable conversations.  Now, let’s get one thing straight: I changed after having kids. Yep, changed in all the ways—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you name it. But at the core? My values, morals, ethics, and manners stayed rock solid. I’m still me! So when I had to call it quits on something I thought was picture-perfect, it hit different. It’s been a process—bittersweet, to say the least.  Speaking of processing, I’ve been in the Word lately, and let me tell you, the story of Adam and Eve? It smacked me right

This week, I found myself in a bit of an awkward situation. Someone wasn’t too happy with my recent post about healing—specifically, my healing from them . Now, before I dive in, let me just say: I am fully aware that I’m not perfect. I’ve had my moments—whether it was acting out of trauma, anger, postpartum rage, or simply exhaustion. But what this person pointed out was that my posts, videos, and writings were apparently making people question their character.  Let’s pause here for a sec. I intentionally left out a LOT of details to avoid ruffling feathers. I wasn’t trying to start a drama series. But if I’m being real, this person would be offended if I breathed wrong. 😂 So, here I am, stuck in a weird place where I don’t want to hurt anyone while healing myself. It got me thinking: “How can you heal without stepping on toes?” Spoiler alert: You heal anyway. 🦋 The truth is, healing will always affect those who are in denial about their own mess. It shakes up the ones who don’t se

  I’ve embraced the idea of selecting a word, a Bible verse, and a motivational quote to guide me until my next birthday. Alongside this, I’ll be creating a vision board filled with the goals I intend to conquer by then. It’s my personal way of staying grounded and intentional about where I’m headed. From June until now, my focus has been “slow and steady wins the race.” This year has been both bitter and sweet. I brought new life into the world, kept another life thriving, and in the process, I lost and found myself. I released people, places, and things into God's hands, trusting He would handle them in ways I couldn't. I am deeply grateful for every experience, but now it’s time to learn from them and move forward. As I step into this next season, I want my chosen word, Bible verse, and quote to reflect strength, courage, hope, compassion, grace, and patience. I’ve realized that I can be incredibly hard on myself, and in doing so, I unknowingly project that pressure onto oth

I came across a post on Instagram the other day that hit me right in the gut. It said, "Stop being the one who always makes the effort. Relax and let the ship sink." Honestly, I've never felt more seen in my life. If you know me, you know I take relationships and connections  seriously  like, Olympic-level commitment. But here's the hard truth I’ve had to accept: not everyone shares that mindset. For the longest time, I’ve been the planner, the one sending the texts, organizing hangouts, making sure the ship stays afloat. But I realized something—if I stopped doing all that, the connection would just… sink. Gone. Silence. It’s like I was holding the whole thing together with duct tape and prayer. Now, I get why my parents were so strict about who I called a “ friend ” or who I got into relationships with. They’d always say, "One wrong decision and your life could change forever." I used to think they were being dramatic, but now that I’m juggling adulthood a